


Little Hand Grenade

by Youngbloodkralie



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: M/M, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, post entry 80
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youngbloodkralie/pseuds/Youngbloodkralie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, aren't you sick of sleeping alone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Hand Grenade

_Lazy lover_

_Find a place for me again_

_You felt it once before_

_I know you did_

_I could see it_

_Whiskey Princess_

_Drink me under, pull me in_

_You had me at come over boy_

_I need a friend_

_I understand_

 

They were never a real couple. They were never official. If anyone saw how they were in the hotel rooms, they’d assume that they were a couple. Lucky for them, they didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing how they acted toward each other in a private setting. A relationship was the last thing on their minds, but that didn’t mean Tim wasn’t thinking about Jay in such a way. It was stupid, he knew. But he couldn’t really help it.

He hadn’t liked anyone really since college, so he blamed this on the situation they were in. It’s not like they really were near anyone else but each other. Plus they were both going through complete hell.

That had to be all it was.

It wasn’t.

 

_Backseat serenade_

_Dizzy hurricane_

_Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone_

_You're salty like a summer day_

_Kiss the sweat away_

_To your radio_

_Backseat serenade_

_Little hand grenade_

_Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone_

_You're salty like a summer day_

_Kiss the pain away_

_To your radio_

_You take me over_

_I throw you up against the wall_

_We've seen it all before_

_But this one's different_

_It's deliberate_

 

The first time Jay Merrick crawled into Tim’s little hotel bed, it was two o’clock in the morning. The room was pitch black and he couldn’t even see an outline of his friend in the first place. He knew Jay had been struggling with trying to fall asleep and had probably fallen asleep eventually. He didn’t realize the fact that Jay had a nightmare and needed to see if Tim was alive and well. Tim had those nightmares, but never went so far as to get up and crawl into bed with Jay. He didn’t need to freak him out like that.

“Tim?”

Tim opened an eye lazily and his eye slowly looked to his friend. “Yeah?” He mumbled sleepily.

“Can I uh...lay with you?”

The question made Tim’s other eye open as well and he looked at Jay fully. “Huh?”

“Nevermind. Forget it..” Jay went to get off the edge of the bed and Tim quickly grabbed Jay’s arm with a gentle but firm grasp.

“No. You can. I just...Why?”

“I had a nightmare.”

Tim was quiet for awhile before he nodded. He then realized Jay may not have been able to see the gesture as it was dark in the small hotel room. “Yeah. Okay. Come here.”

 

_You send me reeling_

_Calling out to you for more_

_The value of this moment lives in metaphor_

_Yeah, through it all_

 

With Jay now secure in his arms, he watched him silently. The man absentmindedly ran a few fingers through Jay’s hair soothingly as he heard Jay’s breathing even, alerting him that his friend was now sleeping. In his arms. His friend was sleeping in his arms.

He could feel that feeling of what he assumed to be just a stupid little crush linger at the back of his mind. No. It was a pointless thing to think about. They didn’t know if they’d make it out alive, and he was sure Jay didn’t feel the same. Jay would never feel the same after all the fights and arguments they’d had on a daily basis. He’d deal with it on his own. He’d be fine. Everything would be.

 

_Backseat serenade_

_Dizzy hurricane_

_Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone_

_You're salty like a summer day_

_Kiss the sweat away_

_To your radio_

 

Jay being in his arms felt like way too long ago. It was painful. He was struggling. Jay was dead and he didn’t really know what to do.

When he had to start using Jay’s camera, he was hesitant. It was Jay’s. If he used it, it didn’t seem to have the same memory of Jay. He didn’t want to think about Jay holding a camera in his hand as he died. That was the last thing he needed nor wanted to think of.

Tim wasn’t sure how long he could handle any of this. It seemed to be over. Alex was dead. That just meant Jay was dead too. Even Brian was gone at this point. He couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do with himself. Everyone was gone except Jessica. They hadn’t even met until after Jay’s death. He couldn’t help but want to get a knife and just end it all then and there.

 

_Backseat serenade_

_Little hand grenade_

_Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone_

_You're salty like a summer day_

_Kiss the pain away_

_To your radio_

 

Tim had wanted to believe that maybe Jay was really alive as Jessica was. He could decide to believe that the body he saw when he was going after Brian was that it was a hallucination. Even with that thought, he couldn’t bring himself to want to stay living.

 

_Backseat serenade_

_Dizzy hurricane_

_Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone_

_You're salty like a summer day_

_Kiss the sweat away_

_To your radio_

 

When Tim finally caved, his hands were shaking. He stared at the blade he held to his wrist, waiting for his hand to move and just end it. So he could watch the blood trickle from his arms and let his eyes close and never open them again.

His hand had just started to move when he heard a knock at the front door.

He bit his lip and ignored it, determined to just get it over with.

He heard another knock that made him stop. It was a more determined and harder knock.

He let out a sigh and set the blade beside the sink. He pulled his sleeves down so it covered what he had started so he could finish later.

He went to the door and opened it. The man instantly froze at the sight of the familiar man in that stupid hat of his.

“Hey Tim…”

 

_Backseat serenade_

_Little hand grenade_

_Oh, aren't you sick of sleeping alone?_

_We're salty on a summer day_

_Kiss the pain away_

_To your radio_


End file.
